Sun, piano, and sweet potatoes

I'm graced with delicious food, art on the wall, piano in the background, and sun in the sky. Portland has been good to me lately. I have been good to myself lately.

I've been busy with other things which has caused me to take attention off of the huge plethora of new bands and music to be listened to. But of course I've still been watching out. This one caught my attention and rightfully so. It's great between the vocals and the simplicity. Simplicty has been known to hit the spot.


Devils Hearts Grow Gold by La Sera by goincase

Swimming

Whenever, and I mean whenever, I get wrapped up in other people and worrying about their opinions or thoughts, any freedom or creativity I have just dissapears. This is how it works. It's dangerous to my well being. I know the winter will continue to bring gray skies but I am setting out to become well-balanced and progressive. I'm going to read a lot. I want to read about people who inspire me or can give me a fresh perspective. I'm going to visualize my perfect future and get better at painting pictures in my mind. I'm going to plan the perfect summer, or make plans that will leave room for this potential. I'm going to see music and look at photographs. Also take my own. I'm going to leave campus as frequently as possible and refrain from smoking cigarettes unless I want them.

I'm going to become my happy, simple self once again, and shy away from the things that always set me off my rhythm.

Swimming and trying to find the surface. But It's just life, you know.


5 Kora by The Qiwu Selftet

Deserted and in love

I want to store us in a mason jar and use the contents when I forget what I've learned. Let's just be young and do anything and everything we want to. Let's run at full speed and make things happen. I've craved the clear vision I had with you in the endless country.

Just 2 kids in the desert, their only cares were sunshine and each other. They lived by no rules except freedom. Silent laughs and greasy hair, youth was their biggest weapon.

Gila - Beach House by Koolkat Kurtman

Beyond the Library

"If we lack the courage to shape our lives by constantly generating love, fear usually takes up the reins and creates all kids of brilliant havoc. Some of our greatest artistic creations have probably sprouted from such modest, moldy demons as paranoia and indecision. Those polarized by fear and over-thinking often share a rare disorder in creation, always in a perpetual hurdle leap to push past the pervious and arrive at an unattainable.

i guess, you know what the sun’s all about when the lights go out."

-Rachel Lynch

Embracing this period of time. This time where little seems right and I'm drifting along. I know it's necessary, though. I have to solidify the in betweens and desires. What I've learned is that confusion and wandering is part of the complete process. You gotta work from the inside out, or else you'll never really be able to achieve the unthinkable.

I've got assignments that go far beyond the late night library visits.

Marriage - Gold Panda by funktional

Going back to Cali

I dig this. Something about their sound, and the fact their EP is up for free on SoundCloud. It's so great that musicians are developing a sort of guilt for making their fans pay to listen to their music. If you think about it, musicians play music because they want to play music, and they have passion for it (if they didn't nobody would listen, or like it for that matter). They do it because it is who they are and what they do. Money is a plus but hopefully not the reason to play it in the first place. If a band is making good music, they'll get their rewards. Guards - Trophy Queen (feat. Caroline Polachek) by Toast Press

Going home to Mt. Shasta today. I know I'll miss Portland by the end of the break, even though Portland and I have a sort of iffy relationship. I know once I step back and see the opposite, I'll have the same urge to come back and experience this unfamiliar and intriguing place. Even though so many days I feel like I'm a floater, lost and confused.

Dry sky

And the worst thing you could do is suffer inside your head. The most freedom I 've ever felt was when my mind was clear from self-questioning. Without that, real progress is made. Lets get this show on the road, I know the great things I'm capable of.

I am nothing without a sharp mind, fitted to think pure and powerful thoughts.


TAMARYN-mild confusion by The Drift Record Shop

Dark from your head to your toes

After a week of busy homework and assignments, I'm exploring blogs and listening to Pavement and James Blake. This week has been hard, school wise and me wise. I'm fighting so hard to find my rhythm, and the best part is once I do (which I will), It will be heaven. Heaven in the rainy and tidy streets of PDX. I wonder how someone like her so happily bobs her head to the music coming from the ear buds. If she can be happy at 11 p.m. in a messy dorm room, why can't I? The gray shades of routines and loneliness are tugging at my legs. But this time, I'm gonna rescue myself.


James Blake - Air & Lack Thereof by AMMtru

Over quick and awkward cigarette conversations, you tell me you wouldn't care if you were dead. You like the possibility of dying at any given moment. You're so twisted and exactly the type I visualized as a dreamy and curious 18 year old stuck in the mountains.You even wear the same clothing as I imagined. Often all in black, from your hair to your dark eyes to your boots. You add to the broken record. Working a relationship backwards. It's obviously become a consistency. But you, my eerie friend, will soon see me in my raw form. And I'll be hesitant and gentle. Soon, I will touch and feel each fresh step on the pavement. I will move past this time and discover the unknown I've been dreaming of. Soon, I will have mustered up the strength to unravel.

I'll Be Wait For Sadness Comes Along

Oh, the shit I should be doing instead of this. I sat down at my computer, ready to crank out some more homework. But I didn't. Instead, I gave my soul some happy music. So easy to get lost in the internet, looking at band's websites, discovering new songs you love in the first 10 seconds. Or looking at somebody's twitter page that you are fascinated with. It's all so accessible. Reading conversations between some of your favorite musicians. Knowing the name you see on hypemachine everyday with triple digit red hearts on the right is actually a person, just like you. What a life to live, a life of pure expression and, well, fun. A way to be happy on this earth, maybe. I'll Be Wait For Sadness Comes Along by chrome sparks

The Mountain

Between spending time in Bend this weekend, hearing Pavement's song mention "Shasta", and now finding and loving this song.... I am reminded of the part of me that yearns for the beauty of the mountains. Even being able to take a walk under a bluebird sky, the next morning after a storm or sitting by crystal alpine lakes at sunrise.... I am looking for a different form of complete peace here in Portland. Heartless Bastards - The Mountain by tadpolegames

Breakneck Speed

Damn this song pumps me up. I heard this a few weeks ago, asked my friend the name of the band and I found it today while going through music. Was a really busy week but part of me really enjoys staying in constant flow, even if it is with school. Hello, weekend. Tokyo Police Club - Breakneck Speed by The Drift Record Shop

Gold Soundz

Aaahh. This song is so perfect at this moment, who knows why, it just gives me a feeling. A feeling that is closest to being described by this song. And I know it's totally specific to this exact moment, these circumstances, my reality right here, right now. At this second, I know what I want, and that's not the case for most seconds. Although I might "want" something different tomorrow, the fact that I have something to focus on right now makes me feel in control of my life.

The funny thing about music is how different it affects people. It's more than just the notes, instruments, beats, or lyrics. In the end it's just about the emotion it evokes. And often, that emotion is completely unique to that one person who always gets that certain feeling when listening to that one song.

  Pavement - Gold Soundz by pluxy

Fucking Create Something Awesome

Smith Westerns - Weekend by forcefieldpr


 Don't look to others for reassurance. It's all from you. Do what feels right. Be yourself in all flying colors and expressions. Who gives A FUCK. The right people will always find you or you will come to them. Things do work out. In the meantime, fucking create something awesome.

I give myself advice when I'm feeling uncomfortable.


;)