Deserted and in love

I want to store us in a mason jar and use the contents when I forget what I've learned. Let's just be young and do anything and everything we want to. Let's run at full speed and make things happen. I've craved the clear vision I had with you in the endless country.

Just 2 kids in the desert, their only cares were sunshine and each other. They lived by no rules except freedom. Silent laughs and greasy hair, youth was their biggest weapon.

Gila - Beach House by Koolkat Kurtman

Beyond the Library

"If we lack the courage to shape our lives by constantly generating love, fear usually takes up the reins and creates all kids of brilliant havoc. Some of our greatest artistic creations have probably sprouted from such modest, moldy demons as paranoia and indecision. Those polarized by fear and over-thinking often share a rare disorder in creation, always in a perpetual hurdle leap to push past the pervious and arrive at an unattainable.

i guess, you know what the sun’s all about when the lights go out."

-Rachel Lynch

Embracing this period of time. This time where little seems right and I'm drifting along. I know it's necessary, though. I have to solidify the in betweens and desires. What I've learned is that confusion and wandering is part of the complete process. You gotta work from the inside out, or else you'll never really be able to achieve the unthinkable.

I've got assignments that go far beyond the late night library visits.

Marriage - Gold Panda by funktional

Going back to Cali

I dig this. Something about their sound, and the fact their EP is up for free on SoundCloud. It's so great that musicians are developing a sort of guilt for making their fans pay to listen to their music. If you think about it, musicians play music because they want to play music, and they have passion for it (if they didn't nobody would listen, or like it for that matter). They do it because it is who they are and what they do. Money is a plus but hopefully not the reason to play it in the first place. If a band is making good music, they'll get their rewards. Guards - Trophy Queen (feat. Caroline Polachek) by Toast Press

Going home to Mt. Shasta today. I know I'll miss Portland by the end of the break, even though Portland and I have a sort of iffy relationship. I know once I step back and see the opposite, I'll have the same urge to come back and experience this unfamiliar and intriguing place. Even though so many days I feel like I'm a floater, lost and confused.

Try to hold onto my drink and my heart

Musicians are just people who have found a source to express their normal people like problems. Case in point, this song. 

"The music is loud and time travels fast,
things that feel good are things that don't last, 
while you go off looking for friends in the dark,
I try to hold on to my drink and my heart."

Dry sky

And the worst thing you could do is suffer inside your head. The most freedom I 've ever felt was when my mind was clear from self-questioning. Without that, real progress is made. Lets get this show on the road, I know the great things I'm capable of.

I am nothing without a sharp mind, fitted to think pure and powerful thoughts.


TAMARYN-mild confusion by The Drift Record Shop

Dark from your head to your toes

After a week of busy homework and assignments, I'm exploring blogs and listening to Pavement and James Blake. This week has been hard, school wise and me wise. I'm fighting so hard to find my rhythm, and the best part is once I do (which I will), It will be heaven. Heaven in the rainy and tidy streets of PDX. I wonder how someone like her so happily bobs her head to the music coming from the ear buds. If she can be happy at 11 p.m. in a messy dorm room, why can't I? The gray shades of routines and loneliness are tugging at my legs. But this time, I'm gonna rescue myself.


James Blake - Air & Lack Thereof by AMMtru

Over quick and awkward cigarette conversations, you tell me you wouldn't care if you were dead. You like the possibility of dying at any given moment. You're so twisted and exactly the type I visualized as a dreamy and curious 18 year old stuck in the mountains.You even wear the same clothing as I imagined. Often all in black, from your hair to your dark eyes to your boots. You add to the broken record. Working a relationship backwards. It's obviously become a consistency. But you, my eerie friend, will soon see me in my raw form. And I'll be hesitant and gentle. Soon, I will touch and feel each fresh step on the pavement. I will move past this time and discover the unknown I've been dreaming of. Soon, I will have mustered up the strength to unravel.

I'll Be Wait For Sadness Comes Along

Oh, the shit I should be doing instead of this. I sat down at my computer, ready to crank out some more homework. But I didn't. Instead, I gave my soul some happy music. So easy to get lost in the internet, looking at band's websites, discovering new songs you love in the first 10 seconds. Or looking at somebody's twitter page that you are fascinated with. It's all so accessible. Reading conversations between some of your favorite musicians. Knowing the name you see on hypemachine everyday with triple digit red hearts on the right is actually a person, just like you. What a life to live, a life of pure expression and, well, fun. A way to be happy on this earth, maybe. I'll Be Wait For Sadness Comes Along by chrome sparks